Would you like to love your body again?

Do you want to manage the stress of infertility?

Are you ready to overcome guilt and shame?

Have you put aside what you used to enjoy?

I relate to all of these questions. Intimately.  My answer to all these questions was a resounding YES.

Of course I felt that way! And I think most women struggling with infertility, childlessness, trauma and unconventional womanhood would answer yes as well. We all share similar fears, stress, and shame. And a complete upheaval to our lives.

We are truly in this together.  And yet none of us know about each other!  

And why is that?  Because shame and embarrassment keep us hidden and alone. I know that I didn’t speak about my infertility for years.  I had close family members and friends who had no idea.

I didn’t speak up because I didn’t want to be pitied. I was ashamed. And embarrassed. And I guess that at the end of the day, I didn’t want to freaking talk about it!

My heart felt completely exposed.  And raw.  I had a sense that I needed to slow down and bring myself back from the obsession of getting pregnant to a more centered place.

But I COULDN’T. I didn’t know how.

I couldn’t slow down because I feared that if I paused for even a brief second, I’d completely fall apart.

So I relentlessly moved forward.  I ignored the warning signs that my stress levels were dangerously high. The pressure was too severe for anyone to bear.

But bear it I did.  Month after month.  Year after year.  Without reprieve. The only thing that mattered was dedicating every waking second to researching and analyzing how to become pregnant. Nothing else mattered, including me.

My struggle with infertility lasted many years. So many years in fact that I was forced to learn tactics to keep myself sane. I searched for help. Desperately. I reached out to friends and professionals for guidance.

But what I really needed and eventually found was the ability to calm myself every day. I needed to get control of my all-consuming thoughts about infertility. These thoughts had taken over my entire life.

I finally found relief through doing the journal exercises found below and THEN getting the tension out of my body through yoga. These 2 things went hand in hand. Writing was the key ingredient in helping me find ME again. But it wasn’t enough to stop there. Physical movement was crucial for getting the accumulated stress out of my body. I found a shelter and safe place away from infertility on my yoga mat.

The ONLY GOAL of the journal exercises and Yoga Sequences I created was to help myself get through infertility and to the other side in one piece.

And to do this, I used the framework of the Yogic Chakras as my guide.

What the hell is even a chakra you may ask?  Sounds very “new agey” and cultish you may think. Let me put your mind at ease.  The Chakras are NOT a religious system.  This framework was developed thousands of years ago as a recognition that different areas of our body carry different types of energy.

Actually, there are 7 of these specifically placed Chakras or Energy Centers (base of spine, lower belly, upper belly, heart, throat, forehead, and top of the head).

It is where energy accumulates and lives.  Emotions, memories, and pain live in these Chakras.




I think most people would agree that there is special energy found in places like the heart or stomach. When someone is going through a breakup, we refer to them as heartbroken. When we experience anxiety before a presentation, oftentimes it manifests in an upset stomach.

But lesser-known examples of the Chakras at work are in places such as the belly, where feelings about infertility manifest.  Sexuality and femininity are intensely affected by a diagnosis of infertility.

For me, I didn’t even want to be touched near that area.  It was a painful reminder of my “lack.” And I had to address those feeling head-on with the tools I learned from the 1st Chakra.

My throat chakra was also affected by infertility.  Earlier I mentioned that I kept quiet about my struggle with infertility. I didn’t share, cry, or even verbalize my feelings to others and often to myself. My throat would then clench with emotion and my entire body became tense. I easily fell ill during this time because of this.

These 2 examples demonstrate that what goes on in the mind affects the body.  And vice versa. Because of this interconnection, the Chakras can get blocked leading to sickness in the body (stomach issues, weight gain, high blood pressure) and mind (depression, anxiety, etc).

But sheer POWER also resides in the Chakras.

The power to heal.  The power take back your life.  And the power to restore YOURSELF.  

We’ve been given the tools necessary to heal our own lives through these Yogic Chakras.

We will go through all 7 Chakras on this journey:

STEP 1: Explore YOU, STEP 2: Affirm Your Sexuality and Womanhood,  STEP 3: Claim your worth, STEP 4: Turn Love Inward, STEP 5: Tell Your Story,  STEP 6: You Already Know the Answer, STEP 7: Divine Reconciliation

But let’s start at the very beginning, our foundation: Chakra 1. I have titled the 1st Chakra “Explore YOU” because that is exactly what we’re going to do.  The work of the 1st Chakra is to find out who you are NOW. Not who you were before infertility, but who you are now.

Clink on each link below to go through these carefully curated exercises specially developed for you!

So join me dear one.  I honor you.  I honor your strength and courage.  I have a very deep faith in YOU.  In your ability to heal and come back to yourself.  Hold your head high.  Because there is no one stronger than you.  Truly.  Those who pass through the fire of infertility possess so much dignity.

I know you.  I am you.  Let’s come out of the shadows.  Together.  Because there is no shame found here.  We are formidable and powerful.  And also feminine and soft.  The Divine lives within us all.  

Sending you peace and love 

1. Explore YOU (1st Chakra) Introduction

2. Healing your broken heart with Mother Earth (in a non-hippy way)

3. Breaking Family Patterns

4. We could all use a little Mother Healing

5. What Do I Stand For NOW? Beliefs after Infertility

6. Not the Sweet One:  Who are YOU?

7. My “Bad” Qualities: Reframing Thoughts

8. This Present Moment. Stop and take a Breath.

9. Tolerance-my new favorite word

10. Acceptance of what already IS

11.  Self-soothing & Distraction rebuild reserves

12. Yoga:  Explore YOU Yoga sequence: Restoring Balance  Explore YOU Yoga sequence: Restoring Groundedness  Explore YOU Yoga sequence: Restoring Reverence

13.  Reinforce the TRUTH: using self-affirmations

14.  “Am I sure”? Ask again!

15. Liberating End of Life Goals

 

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