“Yoga teaches us to cure what need not be endured and endure what cannot be cured”~B.K.S Iyengar
It’s amazing how easy it is to live your life asleep. Asleep emotionally, spiritually, and to your very self.
The statement above perfectly describes where I was at a couple of years ago. I could easily commute to work totally zoned out. Then I’d was a zombie at work. Literally, the highlight of my day was to Google search any topic that popped into my head.
Coffee and headphones were the best coworkers I ever had.
I was a total zombie. Asleep.
We can all quiet our true feelings of dissatisfaction while being promoted and paid well at work. But what happens when there’s a hiring/promotion freeze for years? What happens when projects and new initiatives dry up?
That’s what happened to me so I can tell you: nagging feelings start to emerge.
Then, ready or not your subconscious starts to bring up uncomfortable words like purpose…..passion.
Am I doing what I really want to in life? What will really bring me fulfillment? At this age SHOULDN’T I be a lot further along than I am? Both emotionally and in my career.
It’s hard to shut up those questions when there is nothing to distract you anymore.
One way to shut up those questions is to simply move companies. Or move states! I tried to do both. Boy oh boy did I try. For almost a year I submitted applications, interviewed, and flew for in-person interviews.
But it never worked out.
Now not to toot my own horn, but I am a good interviewee and definitely received offers during that time. But it was never quite right. There was always SOMETHING I didn’t like about the company, the offer, the type of work, or the location.
For almost a year I tried EVERYTHING to move companies, and I do mean searching under every possible rock and pebble.
Finally, it hit me. This is not right. None of this is working out for a reason. You don’t really want any of these jobs! What you want is to live in a cooler state and get employee discounts. But you don’t want to do any of that WORK.
“Let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull of what you really love”~Rumi
Being drawn was exactly what was happening to me. Every job that I applied for I secretly hoped wouldn’t work out. If it actually DID work out, then I couldn’t pursue my secret desire. You see I’ve always had another passion. And I always knew that it would take center stage in my life at some point.
I think my story is much like everyone else’s. There’s always something in the back of the mind that gives hope for a more fulfilled life.
Honestly, even that possibility is enough for some people to keep going and never really pursue it. You suspect that if you really went for it, it would bring you such JOY.
The times that you have pursued this passion have been fulfilling enough to last weeks, even months. Enough that you can go back to your small life and know that this “thing” is still out there. Waiting.
This passion for me has been a healer. A comforter. A soothing balm through all of life’s devastations. And that was Yoga.
And frankly, all that the West had to offer for healing was just not good enough. It’s kind of like the parent that does the best they can, and you want to make excuses for their incompetency, but in the end, it JUST WASN’T GOOD ENOUGH!
I can say with conviction that the West does NOT have the answers for the heartbreaks in life. Again they’ve tried. But it doesn’t go far enough. Therapy has left many still broken.
Religion has not only left people still broken but has often been the one doing the BREAKING.
On experienced ground, I can say that fundamental religion and dependency forming therapy does not work. At least it never did for me. It left large gaping holes where at least scabs should have been forming.
So where do I turn?! I turn to the East.
Yoga and its principles intertwine so seamlessly with my other passion, Buddhism. Nothing has brought me more hope than these 2 things. In these things I suspect, no I KNOW, healing is found.
I know this because I’ve experienced it. It has kept me afloat when all I wanted to do was drown.
It has literally pulled me out of very dark and heartbreaking times.
So this is a CALL to ACTION.
Hopefully my openness in starting this website will encourage others in this Yoga community to share their story. Their true story. Not the vague glossy one’s I see so regularly.
In our quest for enlightenment, my fear is that many have been driven away from this transformational healing.
Toned bikini-clad yogis making videos of poorly understood Yogic concepts have given Yoga a reputation that hopefully none of us in this community are comfortable with.
No judgment or shaming here. BUT more vulnerability and transparency is desperately needed. I bow to all that have come before me and popularized Yoga to the masses. You have done us all a great service.
But NOW is the time to take it even further. Further than just asana. Now is the time to showcase and fully unveil the POWER and MAGIC of Yoga.
No hippy dippy vague concepts here. Just the true brick and mortar way that yoga intersects with real life. Yoga has given us so many principles and techniques that can really help modern man.
Now the trick is to translate all of it into practical and applicable ways. And to translate it using real-life examples that are easily understandable to all.
I believe that we can preserve the authenticity of the Yoga tradition while at the same time use wording and concepts that people outside of the Yoga world can understand and be drawn to.
On what basis am I making these bold remarks?
It is true that I have been a yoga practitioner for a decade and have trained in India. It is also true that I am married to a wonderful Indian man. And I have had the pleasure of visiting his family in India often.
But I would never EVER claim to be a Yoga Expert. How could I? How presumptuous of anyone outside the Indian culture to say that!
How can we, who are from the West, every fully understand the depths of Yoga? A 5,000+ year old tradition seeped in a magical and poorly understood culture.
Yoga was birthed from a great people group who I am now honored to be a part of.
So I will humbly offer to you all that I have learned from my unique position.
Let’s together build a community of people who are passionate about yoga without the bullshit.
You don’t need to be a size 0 living in SoCal to be a part of this community (although if you are, welcome, and I’m jealous). Maybe you’re the girl who doesn’t want to/can’t afford to go to the $100+/month yoga studio. You’re not rocking Lulemon. And you’re probably not a Vegan.
You love/hate looking at bikini-clad gymnasts doing yoga but THAT’S SO NOT YOU! In short, you have NOT drunk the Yoga Kool-Aid!!!!
I want us to curse together, laugh together, cry together, and figure shit out together!
And I promise you to leave no stone unturned in my quest for further healing! We all need it. I am no worse off or different than any of you.
Please allow my journey be a contribution and an offering to anyone suffering as I have suffered.
Let us remain genuine and unpretentious.
Let us experience NO BULLSHIT YOGA!