I’m sure I’m not the only one who has had a total crying breakdown during yoga.
Because yoga has a tendency to do that! It can break you wide open and force you to come face to face with YOURSELF. All of your striving for perfectionism. The grasping to be someone other than yourself.
And then there’s always that ONE pose that you just can’t get. Then you “master” it FINALLY one day. And the next day you fall right out of it.
One side of the body is never as open as the other. On your “good” side you feel like Simone Biles, on the other Ryan Lochte. Is this an inherent trait of yoga to keep your ego in check? I highly suspect so!
There’s a purposefulness to falling out of poses. And a reason for that stubbornly tight hamstring. To always keep us humble. And a beginner. But also always hungry for more.
But good god it makes you want to PULL YOUR HAIR OUT!
The funny thing with yoga is, the more you try to FORCE a pose, the less likely it’ll happen. Your body will NOT be forced into anything. Ever. And isn’t that beautiful really? It asks, no demands that you LISTEN to it. Especially in yoga. Your body is crying out for a relationship with you. For you to work together. To listen. To understand. To show compassion and work through tight spaces together.
Your body demands respect of the pose and the time it takes to enter that sacred space safely.
And when you begin to notice not only your body speaking, but also your breath, that is where true magic happens. Your beautiful breath. Filling your lungs and your ENTIRE body with energy…with new life. And on the exhale….all tension releases. And expectation. And wanting. All is allowed to leave.
Your breath is too powerful. It will take you farther in your practice than your strong will ever can. On the inhale the breath literally has the capability to lift the weight of your entire back. It has the strength to carry you when your body feels weak.
Isn’t that truly magical? The breath is stronger than your muscles? Wow. If you don’t believe me….try it! On your next Chair pose (Utkatasana), instead of focusing on your screaming thighs, focus on the breath. Slow down the breathing. Relax. You can keep going. You can hold the pose WAY longer than you thought you could. Magic.
Oh yoga. How truly beautiful you are. You show me all the ways I delude myself. You show me when I don’t feel like I’m enough and whisper back “you are more than enough my love.” I always get the chance with you, dear yoga, to start anew. To enter a pose for the very first time. To be a beginner. To receive your abundance over and over.
It’s only when I am completely MYSELF…...raw, naked and laid bare that I’m welcomed into that sacred space. Stripped of ego and striving I lye crying. That is what yoga is about. It holds up a mirror to all the self hatred and abusive talk. And then invites another way. A better way. A gentler life. Full of acceptance and love. Yoga does not judge if you can’t do an inversion. It just wants you to show up. ALL of you.
And if all you can do that day is lye on your mat and cry, then that is enough. It is more than enough. All can be well. All IS well. Namaste to my beautiful crying yogis!♥