Do you ever hear your mother’s voice come out of your mouth?
Are you emotionally absent like your father?
Are you attracting the same types of boyfriends over and over?
All of us have probably vowed at some point in our lives to “never be like our parents.” How dramatic by the way right?!
But as hard as we fought it, we’re probably more like them than not.
It’s honestly hard to fight. And this is both great and bad news by the way.
Great because most likely all of our parents were really awesome overall. Bad because if we’re not aware, their less desirable qualities that we’ve now inherited, can end up ruling our lives.
Many of our tendencies and habits are very clearly related to (1) how we were raised~nurture or (2) pure genetics from a family member~nature.
The age-old nature vs nurture debate. Psychologists have long known that we are an accumulation of what we were taught growing up along with plain old genetics.
Here’s a practical example of this:
I discovered that how I grew up with my mother contributed to my preconceptions regarding femininity. And thus, why I felt uncomfortable in my own version of womanhood.
On the other hand, I didn’t grow up with my father, so the oddities that I inherited from him (i.e the desire to run in relationships and not be tied down) are pure genetics.
So, let’s jump in and look at your family patters still affecting you today. These patterns are most likely affecting how you feel about your infertility.
The stress of infertility often presses uncomfortably on soft spots within us. Issues with parents that we thought were buried long ago tend to surface during fertility treatment.
This is actually a good thing.
Allow this poking on your hurt to bring to light areas that need healing!
In this meditation and journaling exercise, we’re going to logically and objectively look at what qualities in our life are directly related to our family.
Let’s move forward to the next exercise: Mother Healing. In this short meditation, we will start the process of releasing what you identified above that is continuing to cause hurt.
There is no pressure to let go right away. Be gentle with yourself. Take your time. But allow those patterns within in you begin to break up and loosen even if it’s just a little!